Funny Work Quotes

1. "I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." — Bill Gates

2. "No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early." — Groucho Marx

3. "Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished." — Leslie Nielsen

4. "It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong." — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

5. "If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter." — John Gotti

6. "Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done." — Peter Drucker

7. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." — George Carlin

8. "Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" — Edgar Bergen

9. "As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement." — Tom Goins

10. "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." — Jerome K. Jerome

11. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." — Sarah Brown

12. "The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse." — Dennis Miller

13. "My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work." — Author Unknown

13. "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben

14. "I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday."  –Anonymous

15. "Getting paid to sleep... that's my dream job. " –Unknown